The Reason

          I finished reading the Old Testament yesterday. It's the first time I'd done a complete read-through of it. With it came the confirmation of what I'd already known: the Bible is a complete work in itself with great continuity in the details and overall picture. There are churches and people that focus so much on just the New Testament or the Old Testament. It's sad because they lose the bigger picture of the history, the meaning, God's plan and God himself.
          I had started the reading with the intent of getting an overview of the Old Testament. I wasn't looking for anything deep or specific but I figured I'd learn a lot even from a surface reading. That's exactly what happened. I saw the bigger picture and learned a lot of things along the way but for this post I want to focus on the former. The verse oft quoted, John 3:16 sums it up better than I ever could: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." However, I did try to sum it up myself when I was chatting with a friend last weekend:

If I got nothing else from reading the entire Bible thus far it's that God loves us passionately and only desires to be with us. Just from the OT you get that message over and over again. Then you get to the NT and it's like OMG (literally) WE CAN be together.

          From Exodus in forming of a nation on to Malachi with the promises of restoration of glory and righteousness I saw the phrase over and over again: "I will be their God and they will be my people and I dwell among them." He loved Israel and continually chased after her. How willing would you be to pursue someone who doesn't seem to want to be with you, instead chasing after anything and everything but you? To boot none of those other things can love and care for that person as much as you. Now imagine that played out over thousands of years and hundreds of generations.
          We were made to love God and be loved by him but it's not real love if there's no choice in the matter. Thus we are given the choice: God or not God. God just wants to be with us but from the fall, sin got in the way. Adam made the choice and paid the consequences, whether he wanted to or not. You can't have both. In the shame of sin Adam and Eve tried to hide themselves from God and we've been running ever since. Sin is the very antithesis of God's nature. He is so pure and holy he simply cannot co-exist and indwell a sinful being any more than you could have an intimate and peaceful coexistence with a person with severe radioactive poisoning (not to mention they're essentially dead in that scenario).
          This is where Jesus and the Gospel (well, the entire New Testament) comes in. God himself descends to the lower planes and while fully divine becomes fully human as well. He takes all of our sin on himself and pays the ultimate price of death, suffering of wrath for us and cleaning us of our sins that separate us. Now we can be together and partake in his love if we only realize our need for him and, more importantly, choose him.
          That's what it's all about. You are loved more passionately and deeply than you can ever imagine by someone who spoke the universe into being and already knows you more intimately than even you could know yourself. How can you not give yourself over to that kind of love? It's the best story ever told, built up over thousands of years and in end love wins.

In the Pursuit of Unity

Why this? Why now?
          Off and on over the past few months, my attention has been drawn to divisions among friends, when they have a falling out. Last week, they resurfaced. Particularly yesterday, when talking with a friend about one pair now divided, I found myself thinking on it for more than five minutes. It bothered me sitting through the final graduation ceremony of the day. I fought hard not to say anything to anyone or post anything online about it because I feared my words would be lost in the anger I felt and alienate those whom I feel need to hear them most.
          Today at church, we talked about unity in the Body of Christ, within the church. I can't help but feel God calling me to pay attention to this matter in preparation for what was to be studied today. Thus, working to set my feelings aside (though I'm sure some will bubble through) and working from Scripture and what was this morning, heed these words. I beg you. It is out of love I am compelled to speak the truth.

Working from Ephesians 4:1-6
          Since we started this church in September, we've been working through Paul's letter to believers in Ephesus (the book of Ephesians). We've finally reached the fourth chapter (we really dig in). We covered the first three versus but the first six struck me considering what had been on my mind and heart lately:

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. ² Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. ³ Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. ⁴ There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; ⁵ one Lord, one faith, one baptism; ⁶ one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
Eph 4:1-6, NIV

          We are called, among other things, to live in unity. We are one body. If your body doesn't coordinate movements, it can be an indication of a neurological disorder. How much more would such a problem reflect on Christ?

          We are to bear the fruits of the Spirit and work together in love. We must set aside our pride, vanity and selfish ambitions to promote the work of the Kingdom. Working together in unity, the Church can proclaim the Gospel more powerfully than most of us ever could alone. The end of Acts 2:42-47 and 4:32-35 both illustrate this, as the people within the church cared for their own, they testified powerfully (in the chapter 4 passage) and more were joining them daily (in the 2nd chapter). Is it much of a stretch to say that disunity hurts the testimony of the believers directly involved and even that of the Church?
          Jesus himself prayed for unity in the church "that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." [my emphasis] John 17:21-23, NIV
          Finally, I'd like to point out what Jesus says during the Sermon on the Mount, "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift." Matt 5:23-24 It would seem unwise to present an offering for forgiveness of sins unknowingly committed (which is was most offerings were) if there is a problem you do know about. Whether or not the offended person is justified in their being offended is not the issue but to work to an understanding and reconcile with them is the point. A friend in church this morning asked the simple question: by refusing to reconcile are you implying that your division is too deep even for God to fix?

An exhortation
          I don't claim to understand all the circumstances that lead to the parting of ways. Even if I did know, I may see things too simply to appreciate the reasons. Yet, having presented a few passages (that was not an exhaustive discussion, I assure you), I feel can say my piece with some...maybe not authority but hopefully weight. I am speaking as a friend, a sister, someone who loves and does not want to see this continue. Please, heed my words:
          As simple as it may be, this is how I see it: siblings in Christ, both dear to me and once dear to each other, are now separated. This is in multiple relationships I've seen this. I must say: It hurts. Not just for those directly involved but others. My heart breaks for what has been lost. I am angry that it has come to this and you refuse to even try to repair. Do all those years mean nothing? Would you really let it all slip away? I thought you were better than that. I can understand lashing out in pain, in needing time for God to work on your heart but do not close yours forever to one you held so dear! I need you both. You need each other. We need each other.
          I am upset with both parties: one for walking away, the other for letting them. We are called to be separate from the world, to not act this way. If both parties don't work towards a renewed fellowship, my high (very, very high) opinion of them will be lowered. I am disappointed but if you both will at least work towards civility, even the smallest measure of warmth, I would rejoice. I beg of you, set aside your pride and look past the present pain. If I, only a child, a friend mourn and rage over this, how much more does our Heavenly Father? Hear my words, oh brother, oh sister! Reconcile. The day will come when you will have to account for this breaking of fellowship. What will you say then? What will God say?
          Please...I love you.

It is not good for man to be alone

          It's just about the end of semester here at school. Final big projects are coming due, last tests and quizzes are being given, and stress permeates the atmosphere like a humid Arkansas summer afternoon. I must admit, I have been party to these stresses. I haven't quite been doing what I needed to stay on top of things and once again I find myself struggling to climb out of the holes I've dug for myself. Is it even worth it? What should I do? I also must confess that I haven't been going to church lately in the hopes of getting work done. I missed Tuesday and Sunday (and possible the Sunday before that). I didn't realize how that had affected me until tonight.
          Last night, I had a breakdown. I was working on a project I had to present today. I'd procrastinated and was now desperately trying to get it together. The stress of school and being behind on everything had been building up in me; I was beginning to crack. I couldn't focus; I couldn't relax. I tried to deal with it but I ended up losing it. I drove aimlessly around town for at least half an hour, crying.
          When I get back and park. I get a call from my friend Desiree. Somehow, I cry again during the conversation and I pour out all my anxieties. She gives me a speech about doing the work we need to do. She apologizes several times but she feels the need to say it. I insist that it's what I need to hear. After our conversation. I get back to the apartment. I'd been out for about forty-five minutes by then. I force myself to sit down and work on it. I eventually finish it at 4am.
          The next day, I head to my first class and it's going all right until the not-unexpected pop quiz. I don't think I did well on it. The next class is the one where I had to present the project. I was all nerves. I'm fairly sure it was obvious how unprepared I was. I was supposed to take ten minutes but I rushed, forgot a lot of what I was going to say and did it only in five. By now, I feel defeated. It was not a happy morning. I try to get some work done after lunch but distractions abound.
          Before my afternoon lab I decide to post a glowing review of a professor on RateMyProfessor. Posting that review improved my mood quite a bit. Looking back, I think focusing on something good and that I'm thankful for helped pull focus from my shortcomings. I amused myself by reading the negative reviews (they really were funny) before heading to lab where Desiree and I had fun, as usual.
          After, my mood starts to sink again and I'm exhausted. I got less than four hours of sleep last night. I feel distinctly broken. My head felt strange, like I had a head-cold but not a physical one. I try to nap but stresses invade my sleep and it's fitful. My alarm goes off. I make a simple dinner and head to church. It's obvious we're all stressed. We dig into Galatians: read chapter two, versus fifteen through twenty-one.
          Throughout the discussion, I truly relaxed. God was speaking to me. I felt the way I know I'm supposed to feel, peaceful and full of love. I really needed that. I realized that by missing church, I'd short-changed myself. I allowed external things to get to me and be brought down by them and my human nature. I wasn't allowing God to show through as much as I should. I'd left myself vulnerable to attack. Digging into the Word and having fellowship builds us up and keeps us strong. We need each other. To remind each other of what we know and to keep focused on what matters, build Christ-esteem rather than self-esteem.
          It was so refreshing tonight. I feel mended and whole, again. It's important we care for each other and study together. It's a huge part of functioning as the body of Christ; perhaps the most important thing next to loving and obeying God. In Him I am strong. Together in Him with my brothers and sisters, we are so much more than we could be alone.

Knowing An Unknowable God

          I was on youtube when I saw a video about a man arrested for bringing his daughter to church after a restraining order by his Jewish ex-wife/girl's mother against that specific act. As usual for these videos, a comment war over religion was raging (over 2000 comments). The most recent at the time I watched it was a very agnostic comment (he is quoted verbatim, please excuse the grammar, punctuation, and spelling):

religion is hypocritical by nature as it is an institution of man's design claiming to be the presance or manifstation of God (an incompehensible infinity) to man... how can man claim to understand the intentions of that which is by its nature un-understanable.

          His less than stellar writing is enough to bother me but his message was uninformed. I replied with the following:

You're applying agnostic thought to a decidedly not-agnostic religion. It's true that God is above and beyond what we are as lowly humans but He repeatedly shows His nature and claims that man is "made in His image". Also, He communicates with us through the Holy Spirit within us. If took the time to study [the Bible], you'd know this.

          Do you agree? Disagree? What are your thoughts? I'd love to see some Bible verses and commentary on this.

Love, the greatest commandment

          When I do you wrong, it wounds me. When I do right by you, it edifies me. I'm not a people-pleaser but I do have a spirit of love. It wars with the vestiges of a hostile state of mind, now void of emotion yet still vocal out of habit; speaking harsh truths and blatant lies. I'd been tossing around, and even started on, some ideas for months now but this one feels right. It makes sense that I would come back to the core of what I am, love.
          My name means "one who is like God". Considering my spiritual nature, the full potential of what I can be in Him, the name makes sense. He is love. He is passionate. That is what I am, what I want and should be. But that's not always what I reflect and it feels wrong when I don't. All of His commandments can be summed up in one thing, love. "Love the Lord with all your heart, all your soul and all your might." "Love your neighbor as yourself." These are not passive actions; love is more than a feeling. It is that desire that turns into action. You have so much love, you want to do right by God and those around you.
          There's so much love, you can't help but let it overflow and pour it into others. His love fills you up; it saturates every part of you and who you are. You are lost in it. You are no longer yourself but a single drop in His vast ocean, within you, you in it and all around you. You are so far beneath the surface you don't see anything else and can only be carried by the deep currents. He will take you to where you should be.
          That is who He is; what we are, having been made in His image. Who are we to deny that?

When Satan attacks, remember your armor and weapon

The following was posted to my blog Of Rain and Orchids:
          I'm better today than I have been in a while. I've been struggling with procrastination and its consequences on my school life. I know exactly what I need to do, I have for some time. The content is not hard, it just requires work. They say knowing is half the battle, acting on it is a major part of the other half to be sure. I've always had a problem with procrastination. I remember my mom getting on to me about keeping up with the homework I had when I was in elementary school.
          I finally realized last night Satan is just trying to bring me down by working on that weakness. Telling me I'm a failure, lazy and hopeless. Reminding me about how if I don't pass, my dad always bring up cost of taking those courses over again. Or when I get just a C my dad basically tells me only the mediocre do so badly. Satan must really not want me to become a teacher if he's getting this desperate.
          Nothing other than becoming a teacher makes sense. All this makes me even more determined now, more evidence that this is what God wants me to do. I just have remind myself that my dad (and God) only want what's best for me, for me to do well and my dad do want to be a good steward of your money (not that I make it easy). That God doesn't want me to fail. He gave me this love of science and the passion for teaching.
          For those of you that were/are: Thanks for praying. Please continue to pray, specifically that I keep perspective and trust in God.

---

         If you're ever feeling down, overwhelmed and frozen by it, remember this. We all have weaknesses; know them. Know your strengths; know yourself. It's not easy but it can be done. I've learned more about myself in the past three years than I had in the first twenty of my life. College has really taught me more than just what I've picked up in classes. I've learned about my faith, come back to it and how to grow in it. I've learned how to reach out to help and ask for it. Of course, this is all ongoing.
          All this learning is so you can identify when you're attacked. At church last night, I was telling someone (I can't remember her name!) about how I felt like a failure. She said I was not dumb, I was very bright and reminded me of what I had told her: I know what I need to do. After being treated for depression, I learned to catch the signs I was sinking into it again. Even if I couldn't stop a relapse, I'd know what it was. God promised He wouldn't let us go through anything we couldn't handle. So when Satan attacks, you can say, "No. I won't let you lie to me. You can't being me down!"
          Remember your spiritual armor. The only weapon we are given is truth; what is given in the Bible. I'll let Chris or my dad discuss those in more detail.
          What are your thoughts?

Hello from the novice blogger

A bit about my past. During college lost interest in bible and church because it didn's seem to say anything other than stories. No discussion on what it all meant. So ignored it for 15 years till met my wife to be, at which point I started reading the bible. Was a blessing actually because I was now ready to listen after learning the world had no answers. Years later I'm still learning to listen.

Seems the biggest error Christians make is not listening to what the Bible says because we think we already know what it says. Ideally, we would know nothing before we read it so our minds are a clean slate and can notice what it really says. Plus errors by the translators don't help. One I missed was at Hebrews 9:7 in King James says -- "But into the second went the high priest alone once every year, not without blood, which he offered for himself, and for the errors of the people". The translators made an error, maybe intentional, when they translated "errors". You can check it in Strong Concordance (#51) but the New King James reads differently at the end "offered for himself and for theh people's sins committed in ignorance". The sin offerings of the Old Testament (Leviticus Chapter 4) was for sins committed in ignorance, but there was no sin offering for deliberate sins. Jesus sacrificial death was not a better version of the sin offering but completely different sin offering for intentional sins. The rest of Hebrews 9 does not say the Jesus sacrific was better than the temple/tabernacle sin sacrifice but completely different -- and in fact it finally provided justification for these sins that never existed before. I must have read this verse 10-30 times before I finally noticed what it said. Makes you consider how many other verses one reads incorrectly. I now read through the Bible continuously and notice these gems of truth that missed for years.

Regarding Stephen reaction at the end: at that point you have only three choices, curse your killers, be silent, or pray for them. Nothing good can come from the first two so the only positive effect of your last breath is to pray for them so they may question what they've done. Maybe Stephen remembered Proverbs 25:22 -- For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the LORD shall reward thee. Would be nice to know if any turned to Christ and regretted being part of those that killed Stephen.