The following was posted to my blog Of Rain and Orchids:
I'm better today than I have been in a while. I've been struggling with procrastination and its consequences on my school life. I know exactly what I need to do, I have for some time. The content is not hard, it just requires work. They say knowing is half the battle, acting on it is a major part of the other half to be sure. I've always had a problem with procrastination. I remember my mom getting on to me about keeping up with the homework I had when I was in elementary school.
I finally realized last night Satan is just trying to bring me down by working on that weakness. Telling me I'm a failure, lazy and hopeless. Reminding me about how if I don't pass, my dad always bring up cost of taking those courses over again. Or when I get just a C my dad basically tells me only the mediocre do so badly. Satan must really not want me to become a teacher if he's getting this desperate.
Nothing other than becoming a teacher makes sense. All this makes me even more determined now, more evidence that this is what God wants me to do. I just have remind myself that my dad (and God) only want what's best for me, for me to do well and my dad do want to be a good steward of your money (not that I make it easy). That God doesn't want me to fail. He gave me this love of science and the passion for teaching.
For those of you that were/are: Thanks for praying. Please continue to pray, specifically that I keep perspective and trust in God.
If you're ever feeling down, overwhelmed and frozen by it, remember this. We all have weaknesses; know them. Know your strengths; know yourself. It's not easy but it can be done. I've learned more about myself in the past three years than I had in the first twenty of my life. College has really taught me more than just what I've picked up in classes. I've learned about my faith, come back to it and how to grow in it. I've learned how to reach out to help and ask for it. Of course, this is all ongoing.
All this learning is so you can identify when you're attacked. At church last night, I was telling someone (I can't remember her name!) about how I felt like a failure. She said I was not dumb, I was very bright and reminded me of what I had told her: I know what I need to do. After being treated for depression, I learned to catch the signs I was sinking into it again. Even if I couldn't stop a relapse, I'd know what it was. God promised He wouldn't let us go through anything we couldn't handle. So when Satan attacks, you can say, "No. I won't let you lie to me. You can't being me down!"
Remember your spiritual armor. The only weapon we are given is truth; what is given in the Bible. I'll let Chris or my dad discuss those in more detail.
What are your thoughts?
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
When Satan attacks, remember your armor and weapon
Labels:
battle,
God,
God's will,
know yourself,
prayer,
procrastination,
Satan,
teaching,
weakness
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